Bring Your Whole Self To Work
Taylor’s Musing: How can you encourage your people to bring their whole selves to work? Take the time to understand and know them. Leaders must set the example as it relates to authenticity. Removing your mask at work can be scary; leaders bear the responsibility of respecting and empowering their people to be the most authentic versions of themselves.
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How well do you know your co-workers? Really know them. Do you know their highest aspirations? What did they want to be when they were kids? What keeps them up at night? Chances are we keep even our personal conversations at work at a surface level.
Most of us have a work persona. There are parts of ourselves we feel uncomfortable revealing to others at work. When I was in my corporate job, I remember at one point feeling incredibly hurt by the lack of support from my boss. It almost brought me to tears in a meeting. Yet I kept a stoic face because I feared being judged by my colleagues as "emotional." Many of us hold back a big part of what makes us human and vulnerable in order to be seen as professional, competent, and successful.
But what if we decided to reveal more of who we are at work? What would be possible? How would our workplaces be different? What would be the impact on the people we work with and lead?
I sat down to talk with Mike Robbins. Like me, he is a passionate advocate for authenticity in the workplace. He is a thought leader, a sought after speaker, and the author of four books, including his latest, Bring Your Whole Self to Work.
Henna Inam: What does it mean to bring your whole self to work?
Mike Robbins: Bringing our whole selves to work means showing up authentically, leading with humility, and remembering that we’re all vulnerable, imperfect human beings doing the best we can. It’s also about having the courage to take risks, speak up, ask for help, connect with others in a genuine way, and allow ourselves to be truly seen. It’s not always easy for us to show up this way, especially at work. And it takes commitment, intention, and courage for leaders and organizations to create environments that are conducive to this type of authenticity and humanity.
Inam: What is the cost to our workplaces when bringing our whole self to work isn’t doable?
Robbins: When we don’t bring our whole selves to work we suffer – lack of engagement, lack of productivity, and our well-being is diminished. We aren’t able to do our best, most innovative work, and we spend and waste too much time trying to look good, fit in, and do or say the “right” thing. For teams and organizations, this lack of psychological safety makes it difficult for the group or company to thrive and perform at their highest level because people are holding back some of who they really are.
Inam: What are the barriers you see that prevent people from doing this?
Robbins: Most of us fear making mistakes, looking bad, and being judged. We also worry about our jobs and financial security, which sometimes gives us “justifiable” reasons to withhold our true selves. This makes sense and we’ve all had negative experiences in the past that inform us in the present. It takes courage, commitment, and bravery to be able to show up authentically and bring all of who we are to work. Given the global and dynamic nature of today’s business world, sometimes we don’t feel safe enough to do this all the time. However, when we don’t, it costs us and those around us a lot.
Inam: As you know I am passionate about authenticity. How do you define it? How does it fit with bringing your whole self to work?
Robbins: I define authenticity as honesty, without self-righteousness, and with vulnerability. I call this the authenticity equation (Honesty – Self-Righteousness + Vulnerability = Authenticity). Authenticity is the foundation of bringing our whole selves to work. When we have the courage to be ourselves and be authentic, it both liberates us and gives other people permission to do the same. We can’t bring our whole selves to work without being authentic.
Inam: The principles you talk about in your book (authenticity, appreciation, emotional intelligence, growth mindset, building a great team) are all well known and appreciated. How do we as your readers close the gap between what we know to be true and actually do it?
Robbins: It’s not what we know, it’s what we do that matters. The concepts I talk about in the book are ones most of us know about and understand to some degree. However, the key is for us to deepen our awareness and our practice of these things. Part of how we do that is to acknowledge when we don’t, so as to hold ourselves accountable. Another part of it is to talk about these things with the people we work with and to find ways to practice together. One of the reasons I write about some of the exercises I do with teams in detail is that my hope is that people will be able to take these exercises and actually put them into practice with their real teams.
Inam: What’s the difference between recognition and appreciation, and why is this distinction so important?
Robbins: Recognition is positive feedback based on performance. Appreciation is about recognizing the value of people. In other words, recognition is about what we do (or accomplish) and appreciation is about who we are. The reason why this is so important is that for us to connect with people in an authentic way, we have to see and acknowledge who they are as humans, not just what they do as workers. When we do both of these things and we separate them out, people feel valued, appreciated, and seen – which allows for greater trust, connection, and performance.
Inam: Not only do you write about the concept of vulnerability, you write about yourself, your work, and your life in an incredibly vulnerable and personal way in this book. Is it scary to open up like that in such a public way?
Robbins: The short answer is, yes! And, I think it is important to model what I’m writing and speaking about here in this book (and in all of my work). I also believe that the more personal, the more universal. One of my passions in my work and my life is to tell the truth about my own experience…and, in doing so, hope that my truth resonates with other people’s truths and their lives. I think we spend and waste so much time and energy trying to “have it all together” that if we spent a little more time telling the truth, we could be free, we could heal, we could change, and we could connect with others in a more real and genuine way.
So there it is, friends. What is one small practice you will try to bring more of your whole self to work? Share your questions and your experience of this topic with our community.
Article by: Forbes